Mother's Day

Mother's Day, for me, is still more about my mother than it is about me being one.  Not that my own mother would know this, as my card to her just hit the mailbox yesterday.  Each of my cards need to be sent far across the Midwest--none of them will arrive on time.  Which is also 'ok' by my mom.  She has always told us that Every Day should be Mother's Day.

And, I believe for her they have been.  Not in an overly romanced, rosy way...I am sure many a day she could have thought of other things to do...but over all, she gave the impression that she enjoyed it.  Enjoyed the process of nurturing her kids.  Made us feel like a gift.  Each of her three children challenged her in their own way.  All at once, over the course of our lives, we said, "Look here," and somehow she did.

For me she has always been my touch stone.  The source I check in with first.  She is the one I call to talk about everything, nothing or the specific.  It is her eye that I trust.  Her human compass that I keep in my pocket, as I navigate a situation.  Smile.  Be direct.  Be Kind.  More blush.

She has my back, even when she shouldn't.  Or, when I don't need it.  Or, when I don't want it.

And, yes she is the one whose approval matters.  Sometimes, often times, the most.

I'm working on that.  We're working on that.

Here is the greatest part about my mom, the part every one should have, but many don't...the part I am most thankful for..

Last week, as the house hunt was going down the wrong pipe, she said something to me in a conversation.  Specifics don't matter.  I heard it.  It made me mad.  It pushed some buttons.  And instead of fuming.  Instead of holding on to it, I called my mom.  I said, "Hey mom, ya know when you said that, it made me feel like this."  Then we talked about it.  Honestly.  Openly.  We talked without fear of anything bad happening to our relationship.  We had complete confidence that good would come out of our efforts.  Knowing I can do that, has made me who I am.  It has been the nurturing I have needed.

Time and time again she had to model this level of grace and patience for me because, sometimes, it wasn't always safe or comfortable for her to engage me in conversation.  (think junior high hormones)  I am sure, no, I know, that in 50%-70% of our conversations my mom was done with the topic way before I was.  I know she didn't understand my drama.  Why I was still on this.  Where this emotion and passion was springing forth from...I know in many a conversation, she was done.

But she wasn't.  She did her absolutely best to stay with me.  To hear my rants and raves...often ducking to dodge the brunt force of my words.  She was there.  And I know she always will be there. 

She has my back, even when she shouldn't.  Or, when I don't need it.  Or, when I don't want it.

I love you, Mom. Thanks.  Happy Every Day.