May 26

They sat across from each other sipping their coffee.  With a natural rhythm of people who have done this before, their forks traded off cutting through the vanilla cheesecake.  No one around them could have guessed what they were talking about.  They found it surreal and unnatural. 

They were friends who had guided each other through grade school recess.  Each had stories to tell on the other of awkward adolescent dating rituals.  Each had disappointed the other.  They had both forgotten the disappointment.  They had been together on their most important days.  Often in body, always in spirit.  They were a constant in the others life, yet they barely contacted each one another. 

Weeks, months go by and neither would call or write.  But when they sat across from each other over coffee and cheesecake, they could talk with an honestly and intimacy known only to the very rarest of friends.  The essence of the conversation on this day went like this:

One said, "You know, I need to say this.  I'm sorry I wasn't around to support you more when you had EG.  I was jealous.  We had been trying to have our second.  I would have loved a little girl.  It was just too hard for me.  I know you understand."
The other said.  "I knew that.  And, things were bad for me....for us."
One said, "I knew that."
The other said, "I was jealous of you, too.  I didn't know what to do or how to help.  But I was jealous.  How horrible is that?  How absolutely wrenched is that?"
One said.  "I know.  You were there.  I get it though."
The other said.  "You know I love you."
One said,  "Yep.  I love you, too."

And they ate their cheesecake.


It is almost as if the rawness of their love and care for each other needs to be spaced out.  They poke each other on facebook and write sentences back and forth.  They have no idea what each other is doing on any given day. If you were only to look upon this exchange you'd never know they can bare their souls to each other.  But they can.  They do.  They have.  They will always.

*On May 26th my friend married a boy she met in college.  She loved him.  He loved her.  They have a darling son.  They would have been married nine years, today.  She is on my heart.