Falling Close to the Tree

The scene begins as a mother says to her three year old daughter and five year old son.  "I'm working in the kitchen right now so you have to play in our yard."  (not play with the neighbors in their yard.)  An hour passes and each of them ask a few more times, just in case the mom has changed her mind or forgotten their request.  Finally, the five year old settles into realty.  He's not playing in his friend's yard today.  The three year old has another game plan.

After standing in the kitchen doorway crying for a bit, she decides to change shoes.  On her way back through the kitchen, "Mom, I changed my shoes now can I go in Simon's yard."
"No, EG."
She stands in the the doorway and begins to cry again.  Then suddenly shuts off the tears and looks at her mom.
"Mom, I'm stubborn."  Stomps her foot and sets her face to stone.
"Yes, you are."  her mom is internally smiling.  "Do you know what stubborn means?"
EG ponders for a moment.  Quietly she says, "No."
"Maybe you shouldn't use words when you don't know what they mean."  A pointless remark.
There is a long pause.  EG relaxes a bit.  Her face and voice soften.
"Mom, what does stubborn mean?"
The mom finishes washing some pots and pans from last night's lasagna. 
"Stubborn means that you don't change your mind very easily.  It isn't always a good thing.  But you know who else is stubborn?"
"Birds?"  she asks.
"Well, maybe, but I was thinking of your dad, your brother and me.  Sometimes it is a good thing, sometimes it isn't.  Did you notice that BB is playing and you are standing in the doorway crying?  Who's having more fun?"
She looks outside.
The mom gets out the dishwasher soap and fills up the soap cups.  Closes the door and turns to start dinner.
A few minutes pass.  With a mixture of defiance and resignation, "I'm having fun, Mom."
"hummm...Well, EG, my answer isn't going to change."
"Cause you're stubborn, too?  (quick pause)  Did I use stubborn correcdidly, Mom?"

Saturday

Our house has been for sale for 10 months.  Did you just stop reading?  Tired of this topic, are you?  Everyone in our life is as well.  I understand.  We are doing our best to change the topic.  But for today, the house is a prominent chapter in our life's story.

It started out as a fantastically unique Saturday.  It was the first weekend in a long time that did not have anything planned for either of us.  I have no weekend church projects for the next few weeks, so I was feeling relaxed.  Friday kicked off the weekend when a friend was available and interested in watching our kids.  We ate dinner at a restaurant in peace.  Ahh.  Of course by 9:30pm I was exhausted and ready for bed.

Which I got to sleep in until 8:00am on Saturday.  Ahh.  BB and I got up and leisurely made pancakes (one of my very favorite things to do and his favorite to eat.)  EG and my husband slept a bit longer.  We ate.  The kids planned a Dinosaur Show.  BB hung signs, encouraging the family to sign up to see his show.  Once the kitchen was cleaned up we headed into BB's bedroom for the show.

We sat in peaceful bliss on the bedroom floor, enjoying a Saturday all together.  The kids showed us their drawings of dinosaurs.  Then EG brought out her dinosaur, named Laura.  They had made a cage out snap blocks and placed a dinosaur family inside.  We had to speak quietly and could not touch the dinosaurs.  After many "mic" checks, BB and EG were ready to preform their dinosaur song up on BB's bed.  At this point the phone rang.

My husband and I looked at each other knowing full well what the call at 10:30am meant.

Someone wanted to see our house at noon.

After we patiently listened to the song and even got to draw a picture of a dinosaur.  We had to sign our names to them and hang them on the on wall.  Then we regretfully shared the news that we had to call the real estate agency back.

All of a sudden our Saturday felt just like every other Saturday for the last few months.  (we want to sell the house, so we know what we need to do...it was just so amazing to be still and hang out.)

Instead of leaving to do something, we decided to park on our street and wait for the showing to come and then leave. By 12: 30 lunch was now on our minds and our house takes about 15-20 mins max to look over.  So, we sat in our cars on our street, outside our own house and chatted on our cells phones.  At 1:00pm, our agent called to say the showing agent was running late.  Could they see the house between 1:30 and 2:30?

I can't actually repeat what my husband said.  It was funny.  Especially, coming from mild mouthed him, but I didn't share it with the agents.  I sighed and said, "Sure."

Our kids hate this.  It has effected their moods in various ways.  They feel as powerless as we do, perhaps even more so, and their frustration manifests itself in a variety of ways.  Screaming.  Crying.  Disobedience.  Fighting with each other.  Mouthing back to us.  My children's mental health was never one of the things I would have listed when I thought of potential house selling issues.

We headed to lunch..out.  (which I love.)  Then home again.

Now we wait...

We did reclaim the weekend.  I took a nap.  My husband took his monthly trip to Goodwill.  The kids watched some tv, played outside and colored some more pictures.  Right now as I type, they are all at the park flying a kite.

I am watching House Hunters, waiting for the pages of this chapter in our lives to turn.

New Voice

Part of the reason I love to read blogs is that I am introduced to people I would love to personally know.  I will probably never get to meet them, or share a cup of coffee, but I am happier just to know they are 'out there.'

A friend of mine needed to have a  book by the title of Will Jesus Buy Me a Double Wide?  (because I need more room for my plasma tv.)  You can see why she needed to have this book.  Just knowing a book with this title is 'out there' made us happy.  Turns out the author, Karen Spears Zacharias, has a blog as well.

Her posts titled: Notes on Japan and What is he waiting around for? made my day.  You'll have to scroll down a bit, because she writes everyday. (unlike others we know.)

I'm Pregnant.

There.  I said it.
When you write about your daily life, but haven't actually wanted to deal with your daily life, your blog suffers.
Sorry about that.

Working with what you've got

Do you see these sad, empty hangers?  All that shelf space?  Yesterday they held clothes.  That did not fit.  I was hanging on to them in hopes of wearing them again one day.

I have two full boxes of summer clothes in the basement.  One box of clothes that are lovingly thought of as 'Memorabilia'.  The dress I wore to my 8th grade Confirmation.  A pair of shorts from college that received favorable reviews.  A few tops that are too cute to give up, but would require major cosmetic surgery to get me back into.  These boxes sit in the basement.

Upstairs my closet was overflowing with sweaters and pants.  Many suits that I haven't worn in years.  Clothes that belonged to my Godmother.  Size, after increasing, size.  On the floor in front of my closet was a pile of the clothes that did fit.  Each day I would look over the beautiful items that I couldn't wear, and grab the few pieces that did fit from the overflow pile and stacks.  It was tiring.  A bit depressing.  And a daily reminder of the ridiculous.

We had a house showing yesterday (so that answers your question of whether the house is still for sale.)  and I realized many parts of my life might benefit from cleaning up my closet.  I took out all of the items that don't fit/can't wear/wrong season and packed them away. 

I am left with this closet.  (note all the fun colors.)

I told myself that come October, I will drag out all the boxes.  All of them.  I'll have a major fashion show and part with my past for good.(ok, parts of it.)  But, for now, it is buried in the basement.  It does make the morning much less dramatic or angst filled to know I can wear everything in my closet.  There is some freedom in living with less.  Peace in having just enough.

Racing to Three

EG doesn't turn three until Friday, but we got the party started early this week. 

For more on how EG has celebrated her birthdays look here.  I realize I didn't do as much for the festivities this year but I'm a bit tired.  More on that to come...