36 Years

Happy Birthday to me....a few hours early. A couple of years ago someone in my congregation passed along the idea of birthdays being our own personal 'new years.' I like that idea and plan to spend the weekend taking a deep breath in preparation for a new year.

I realize 36 isn't exactly, old, but I am beginning to understand what "older" people mean when they say they still feel young. I imagine we all carry with us parts from each age and time...setting down some 'us' at stages in our life, leaving some behind for good, picking up others decades later. Perhaps the trick is to never completely lose our grip on the best of what make us, us.

I am still a 6 year old playing with my imaginary brothers and sisters. Creating my own little world to live in.
I am still 10 talking a mile a minute and dancing around in joy.
I am still 16 and sure I have all the answers, even though it is often (always?) just bravado.
I am still 18 skiing through the snow tipped pine trees faster and faster, pushing myself to be better.
I am still 20 and looking around at all the options available for me. (and still often overwhelmed.)
I am still 22, wanting to save the world and make a difference. Having a great time with friends and exploring who I want to be.
I am still 25 and inspired by God's call to serve. In awe of how much there is to learn.
I am still 30, confident and calm...er. Creating a life that feels meaningful.
I am still 33, growing into new roles and fighting to remain true to me while others pull at my legs and heart.

I am 36. At peace with much, restless enough to keep pushing, and thankful for all the gifts I have been given.

For each of you who contribute to my life...thank you and here's to a new year.