Who Am I?

Friday, June 25, 2010

Life is (not) Like a Catalog

Above the TV in the family room my mom keeps nearly every catalog that comes during the month.  I remember an activity I did circa 1985 which took full advantage of her collection.

We had high stools that line the counter of the kitchen pass-through counter.  I needed the stool to get up to the catalogs, and I would gather as many as I could muster without falling or dropping my loot onto the ceramic floor.  JCPenny's, Sears, maybe a spanking new thing called Pottery Barn, Ethan Allen, Talbots and various other brands that portrayed life as being as ideal and perfect as...well, a catalog.

I spread them out.  Collecting scissors, a piece of paper and some pens and markers, I would begin to create my life.  Cutting out a couch.  Then gluing a picture of the ideal cottage garden next to it.  I can feel the paper give way as I ripped a whole page out.  Sometimes, I'd be focused on the knickknacks or the flowers in the garden.  Other days I would be all about the interior furniture.

One day sticks out in my mind with vivid clarity.  I must have been working on the same type of project but this time, perhaps for a class, or for a lesson of sorts that my parents hoped to teach me, I was adding up the prices of each item.  I was listing everything I would "need" in life and how much it would cost.  (It must have been for a budgeting class.) 2 couches.  A dining room table.  8 chairs.  A hutch to hold my china.  China.  That tea kettle on page 87.  The outfit on page 6.  A rug.  My house should like the one in the Mpls/STP magazine.  "Hum, I wonder how to figure house prices..."

As I sit on the stool, I am looking into the kitchen and I directly face the back door.  I can feel my feet swing and gently kick the back of the cabinet. I see the dishes in the sink, the peanut butter and jelly out on the counter top.  There is paper piled orderly in a stack.  A decorative bowl holds fruit.  To my left I can look out at a lake becoming quiet as fall progresses.

As I am mid-rip in acquiring a table set I like, my mom comes in from the garage.  She is loaded down with paper grocery bags.  I can't see her face through the overflowing bags.  Knowing what I am up to, she plunks the bags down and reaches in to one for a box of tampons and a box of toothpaste.  She drops them onto the counter top in front of me with a thud.

"Better be sure to include these on your list as well." she says, with the aplomb of a woman in her early 40's.

The whoosh of ice water that came over the project was a needed reminder to a girl who still looks at way too many catalogs in hopes of life jumping off the page.

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