My friend Jennie, who walks over at The Emmaus Road, wrote something in an entry on her new years resolutions that I just loved..."As a recovering perfectionist who has found a life-source in grace..." It holds the tension inherent in all resolutions. I rarely make them. Every so often I feel a need to start over...to repent or to do better.
In 37 years I have learned that I lack will power. I am strong. I am stubborn. I am dependable. Just not when it comes to doing anything consistently.
Most nights I don't wash my face, I forget to brush my teeth, I take vitamins randomly. I apply all the expensive creams I buy on a very erratic basis. If my whole being wouldn't shut down, I wouldn't get out of bed each morning to take my thyroid meds.
So you see why a resolution might be out of the realm of possibilities with me. I mean, really, why bring more guilt upon oneself?
But I have hopes. So here are some hopes for the next year...
I hope...
to take better care of myself.
to not take better care of myself with sugar cookies and baked goods.
to work on developing deeper relationships...with people who share my interests. Interests beyond motherhood.
to find space (physical and time) to be creative.
to hang out with my husband more.
to get a better grasp on what I actually have control over and then excerise said control when applicable.
As a recovering perfectionist myself, I would love to put concrete goals out there...but I think I will stick to 'hopes.' Here's hopin' that works out for me.
1 comment:
ok, can I just say that I thought you were talking about me for a minute with the face washing/toothbrushing/vitamin taking stuff.....I am definitely so wishy/washy with everything like that in my life, healthy eating/exercising included.....so here is to hoping we both can be less wishy-washy and more toothy-brushy...taking better care of ourselves and spending more time enjoying our good friends and family:)
-BW
PS (Yup, I'm a PSer, even on blog comments)Thanks for being such a wonderful friend:)
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