What Did I Miss?

It is all in God's time.
God has a reason.
Everything happens for a reason.
My prayers were answered when we got a new car...dishwasher...found money...someone helped us...
I'll have to pray about that...
I will pray that God takes away that pain.

After the conversation with my parishioner--let's call her Jane--I wrote a long email to my friend and colleague.  In her response to me she mentioned my own prayer life.  Did Jane's comments bother me because they hit close to a truth?  Did I feel my prayer life was lacking?

The answer is 'yes.'
The answer is 'no.'

I consistently feel as if I am missing something about prayer.  I want to cast off statements like the ones at the beginning of this post as being "poor theology" but when I constantly hear people talking this way, I begin to wonder who has the "poor theology?"  People seem to attribute all of sorts events and occurrences that I chalk up on a small scale to 'coincidence', 'luck', 'hard work', or  'the way things go,' to God's hand.  I really don't want God to put much effort in to finding me a parking spot...

It should be noted that I am in a deep, deep house selling funk.  I keep thinking about this family that put their house on the market, sold it and moved in to their new house...just like that--right away.  They got the government tax credit, they got new appliances...their prayers were answered.  I keep thinking about them and I wonder..."What are we doing wrong?"  (remember, I'm a first born rule follower.)  What am I missing?  Why is my family seemingly stuck in neutral...constantly?

So, 'yes' my own prayer life is in question.

But if prayer is meant to keep us in contact with God...if it is meant to be daily-hourly-minute to minute conversation with God...if it meant to keep our heart and eyes and hears open to the work of the Holy Spirit and all the ways we are being shaped...if that is what you mean by prayer, then 'no.'  No, my prayer life is healthy and active and flourishing.  I am in constant--honestly--conversation with God.

I see the young men walking the street with bags on their backs and I give them to God.  I hear an ambulance and I ask God to be with those involved.  I watch my young daughter clasp her hands, muttering the events and names that touched her day and stand back in awe of God's creation.  I give thanks that I have been brought into its care.  My son calls my name for the 50th time that hour and I know patience will come through the work of the Spirit on me.  My tears as I listen to the stories of oil destroying the waters we were created to be caretakers of, are prayers.  Prayer is how I breathe as I go through my day.

Prayer for me is about 'bigger' things and events--redemption, sanctification.  It moves me beyond 'God-as-the-one-holding-the-strings-on-my-life, so-I go-to-God-in-hopes-of-getting-what-I-want.'  As if God doesn't already know what I need...

Perhaps, we all want prayer to be more than it was meant to be.  Perhaps, it is all a bit of semantics--how we give 'name' to the events around us.

God will bring the perfect family to live in your house.
In God's time.
You are growing with each challenge God gives you.
Ask and you will receive.