Nursing is NOT in my future

EG has Hand-Foot-Mouth disease.  This is *not* the same as Mad Cow Disease, which is what my husband, her father, heard me say over the phone when I called him to report on her on going health problems this week.

At first we thought it was molars cutting through.  Which it is.  A fever and mild vomiting are both fairly common occurrences with EG, so that didn't alert us to anything amiss.  (she has a very slight gag reflex and gets fevers on a regular basis.)  But then open canker sores developed on her tongue and throughout her mouth.  Then spots on her body, and sure enough hands and feet.

But it wasn't any of this that put me over the edge, it was the crying that has me on the bottle by 5pm and turning to my husband and saying things like..."I have to leave her...right now."  "In the interest of our family, I need to leave the house."  "Get me the *&*;^%$ out of here...now."  She has had me in tears.  Multiple times.

The cumulative crying in her first twelve months of life wouldn't add up to the amount she has cried in the past day....let alone the past week.  (In fact I have had to leave twice while trying to type this post.)  For three nights she did not sleep, nor did we.  Her voice is squeaky and hoarse.  She has lived off of water, popsicles and applesauce.  For all the encouragement of her grandma, she would not eat ice cream.

This is not my strong suit.   In fact, I am driven mad, mostly by how bad I am at taking care of her needs.  I actually looked at a two year old and said, "There is nothing else I can do for you.  You'll have to toughen up a bit here." 

She looked up at me with her strong, deep brown eyes--she had a finger jammed back into her side molar and her other hand was wrapped around her opposite arm to rub her own elbow--the look on her face told me, I had better take my own advice.


*My deepest and sincerely apologies to all we came in contact with this week.  We really did think it was teething...and it is.  I don't think she licked or shared drink with anyone...but I can't be sure of that.  Big SIGH.

*Isn't this just the most stimulating of all my posts.  I reread it and realized no one, not even their grandparents may want to know this much about my kids' health.  So, I apologize for that as well and offer up one last SIGH before signing off.