Caught

Just moments ago, BB was in the kitchen snacking and watching Bob the Builder.  I was in the office working on an upcoming sermon (and catching up on tv shows I had missed.)  BB had been eating a variety of things in the cabinet.  Goldfish crackers.  Raisins.  Pretzels.  When he came in to ask me to change the video, I noticed that his breathe smelled 'minty fresh.'  He also off handily mentioned that his tongue hurt.
Thinking nothing of it, I asked, "Did you eat some gum?"
"No."  He looked right at me.
"Really, your breathe smells like gum.  Are you sure you didn't eat some?"  I continued to finish typing and arranging papers on the desk, before standing to change his video.
"No."

I didn't really care.  Up until this point I wasn't accusatory or angry.  But now I realized he was lying. (for some unknown four year old reason.)

I walked in to the kitchen, and saw an empty wrapper sitting by his cup of juice.  There was no unwrapped gum anywhere...just a package of Extra sitting on the counter.

"Why is this wrapper empty?  Are you sure you didn't eat some gum or put it in your mouth?"  says I, again, remaining calm and casual.
"No."  Pause.  "I don't know why."  and tears begin.
Now I get a bit more firm.  "BB, you need to tell the truth.  If you can't tell me what happened you need to go to your room."

He goes to his room and dramatic crying begins.  I give him a minute and go in.

Calmly, I sit on his bed, "BB, I sent you to your room because you aren't telling me the whole story...that is a lie. I am not mad if you ate gum.  I don't even care if you ate gum.  I am upset because you didn't tell me the truth."

Very sad, earnest tears are falling as I say this.

"You can come out when you are ready to tell me the truth...but again, I'm not mad about the gum."

He's still in there.

Good grief.  My husband and I don't even chew gum.  It was left here by my parents (not blaming you, mom, just reporting facts) and I understand the allure of something new, but seriously, why choose this to lie about?  Take note of how often I noted that I was calm about it.  He had no reason to think he'd get in trouble. In fact, he fesses up with joy over all sorts of things he KNOWS he'll get in trouble about.  "How did EG get hurt?"  "I pushed her."  "Why is that chair broke?  "Oh, I jumped on it."  Things like that he fesses up to in an instant and I thank him for being honest...but GUM?  Gum is the one that he decides to lie about.

I'm trying to think of what else could have happened. But the evidence points to him.  Sigh.  Always a new learning opportunity...for me.


**Follow Up**   He fell asleep and after waking up from a short nap, BB still wouldn't say much.  He tentatively admitted to licking an existing wrapper.  Who knows.  After a brief conversation I realized the whole thing was over his head a bit and decided to let it go--mindful of how I react to him in the future.  I don't like the idea of him lying to protect himself from his mother's wrath (or, grumpy face/stern voice, as the case more often is.)