Then he Hugged me

BB started Kindergarten this week.  

The photo above is from his first day of preschool two years ago.  

He took the same backpack...it just fits a bit better this year.

From these photos, the physical growth is apparent.  And, I have a touch of sadness over the passing of time.  There weren't any tears over this transition.  At least BB and I didn't shed any as we toured the classroom or said good bye the first day.  I didn't break down in the car or hide in the bathroom once I was safely home.  I didn't feel sad.  I'm proud of him.  I am also pleased when we step forward into greater independence.  I am excited to hear the stories he brings home.

That was the paragraph I knew I would write.  The big-tough-Mama paragraph.

Then he had his first full day of school.  He was obviously tired, and spent, from processing way more than he could ever articulate to me in the car ride home.  Even knowing this, I still peppered him with questions.  I gleaned a few tidbits as we covered the mile or two back to our house.

Then we pulled into the garage.  EG was fussing, LP had to be brought in from the car.  Bags and bags of stuff had to be shlepped in.  How the four of us can create such chaos I'll never understand, but entering the house is quite a crazy event.  After some time passed I realized I hadn't really hugged or acknowledged BB's arrival home after 8 hours away.

I sat down in a chair and called him over.  He crawled up into my lap, his legs wrapping around the back of the chair.  Long legs dangled down behind me.  He threw his arms around me and I wrapped myself around his solid back.  I let him stay for as long as he wanted and when I realized he was staying put...tears began to fall.  Both of us acknowledging that something important had happened.  This little baby--the one who first made me a mom--was moving further away from me.  I may appreciate the growth and the forward movement, but he missed his mom.  And, it was important to let him know that she missed him.  

More than she ever realized she would.