The Goal

Monday nights I have been setting up "office hours" at a local coffee shop. No one from church stops by so it is a blessed time of renewal and reading. I actually do get some "office work" accomplished but I also fill up on my eavesdropping and people watching--something that is usually difficult with BB and EG around. They both chatter constantly so they serve as my own portable white noise machine blocking out any sounds of a world larger than us.

A few weeks ago as I wrote notes to people and began The Shack, I took note of two women sitting a few tables away from me. Amongst the college and high school aged students that filled the place they stuck out. I took note of them because it was 9pm, their hair was wet, they each wore simple, stylish workout wear, and they were at least 80 years of age. What also struck me was how engrossed they were in each others thoughts. They seemed like the best version of friendship.

After a few minutes two other women near to their table got up to leave. Each in their 40's or so, they stopped to greet the women who were seated. "You two are such darling little women," one said with that voice people so often use with the elderly.

My friends smiled a little bit and then graciously humored the younger women with an explanation of why they were out so late....being old and all. It turns out every night they swim at a local pool for an hour or so. Afterwards they do some light weights. Then they have a simple supper somewhere together. They chatted a bit more with the two women and then eventually the younger women left the coffee shop.

Once they had gotten out of ear shot, one of the original women looked at her friend, "Why'd they stop at our table?" The one snorted and laughed a bit, "Oh, they said something about us being darling little women...some condescending blah, blah, blah." They both chuckled kindly and then continued on where their conversation on local politics had left off when they were interrupted.

I nearly had coffee coming out of my nose.

While I had the same reaction to the woman's "compliment," I felt for them. I knew what they meant. I knew why they had stopped at the table at all.

These older women represented the ultimate goal for those of us in our mid-age. There they sat; sharp, healthy, active, positive, awake past 7pm and in their 80's. Their friendship was also inspiring. From a distance it radiated its light.

As I sat in thankful silence sipping coffe, loneliness sat with me as well. It is a lonely stage of life...the worst kind, as I am often surrounded by adults and kids, but never seeming to connect. I think everyone took note of these women because they gave us such hope as they walked in. Yes, some of it was ageism...they were the oldest in the place by two decades. But also because of who they were...I could see them inspire people as they simply sipped their soup and chatted.

They seemed to be living mantras. "We can make it through these years of spinning chaos, sleepless hours, constant babbling and chatter, the never ending pulls on our being. There is a model of health and activity. Intellectual curiosity, humor and articulate conversations can we ours once again."

By this point I was probably staring. I really wanted to say something to the women as well. Either, in a fit of pathological fixing, to re-script what the first women had said, or to just add my own observations on the women's obvious "fabulousness." (because I would have made it sound so less condesending...)

Instead, I got more coffee. As I returned to my table I caught one of their eyes and smiled. She smiled back. I packed up my books and prepared for the journey back into my reality. Not before I gave thanks for a glimpse into the future and how well it can be done.