Christian Sisterhood

A few weeks ago on Oprah I watched a re-run of her visit to the polygamist ranch. It was the one in Texas where all the children were taken from. At one point Oprah addressed the common topic of jealously among the sister-wives.

Obviously, 3, 7, 14 women all living in the same house can spur a large supply of human emotions. Never mind the fact they are all married to the same man. The women wouldn't 'dish' with Oprah. They had no gossip or even rolled eyes agreeing with the assumed hardship of living in community with other women. What they did say was what got me thinking.

When they experienced a struggle or hard feelings towards another "sister" it was a signal of their own sin. They needed to dig deeper to overcome some sin, or struggle. Whatever anger, jealously, pride they felt towards the other, reflected something lacking in their own being. When they didn't like someone or felt ill will towards another, it meant they needed to look into themselves to see why they couldn't love the other woman.

While not unfamilar, their response got this woman thinking.

I am a member of two woman's groups. Both are made up of Christian women. By the end of May I was ready to be done with female community all together...and I only saw most of my "sisters" for a couple of hours each week.

I have spent all summer fighting off (failing miserably) the worst version of myself when it comes to my attitude towards some of my "sisters in Christ." Does the fact a few (by no means all or even most) women drive me batty reflect on me? Is it a sign of my own sin? Or, on this journey of life, will some people just rub you the wrong way? Is that ok? And, when you can't escape them, what is the Christian response? Obviously, wringing their necks is out of the question.

There is an expression within some Christian communities about "taking on the others sin." From what I can glean it means not getting sucked into the drama of another person's life or sin. When others gossip, don't join in. When the other is angry, don't respond with anger. When someone is selfish, you become more giving. Etc. Etc.

Sooooo, not my gift. But I know it is true. The trick right now is preparing my heart and mind to rise above my desire to RUN AWAY or worse yet, subtley attack those who drive me batty, through continued snide and snarky observations--out loud or in my head and heart.

My goal is to allow myself the freedom to say--"I don't really like them. Or connect with them. Or understand them. Or, they don't like me. Or they hurt me/I hurt them."--to accept these things and then move on. Mulling it over and over, isn't making it better. Replaying all the ways we bug each other, doesn't heal much. This is the goal in the coming weeks, in preparation of fall and start of all the groups.

Sigh.

I suppose if I can learn something from fundamental Mormon polygamists living in rural Texas...I can rise to the challenge of learning from, and appreciating, the women in my life.