LP is my third one year old. Spending time with a one year old helps me understand why people have multiple children. Some women are all about the baby phase. Give me a one year discovering the world while toddling around turning over pots in search of his personality any day.
I can't get enough of LP right now. He's discovered snuggling. He has also developed awareness that he has to share me with BB and EG. While I need to remind him it isn't nice to smack his sister in the face when she sits on my lap, or wedge himself between BB and I when we hug, I giggle inside as it is happening. I giggle a lot when he's around.
Many years ago I wrote a blog post about how each child has essentially a different version of the the same parent. For many reasons I wasn't able to savor the other children at this stage as I am able to enjoy LP. (or maybe, it is simply that parts of my memory have been erased by some cosmic event) BB, got a mom wrestling with what just happened and wondering how she could recreate life before motherhood. EG, got a mom overwhelmed with grief. None of it could be helped and all of it has matured into growth and strength. But LP, gets me at a time in my life when I can sit and giggle with him while my mind is in the moment. In large part I am at peace because he (and God...and my friends) spent 9 months living through my panic and dread over, said third child. Along the way, his existence made me give up some things, make peace with some others and try to get at life from a different angle. I am at peace in so many ways because of LP.
Mind you, it isn't all sunshine and hearts drawn on our days. I'm still me. With a low threshold for care-taking and a fairly selfish need for space. We enjoy each other on the run. LP has the most ridiculous schedule and his days are filled with a variety of people. It might appear he shares me more than the other children, but in my heart I know I'm all his.
The gift isn't lost on me. Daily, his blue eyes, chubby cheeks and mischievous grin, remind me that out of chaos, best made plans and a life turned upside down, God surprises with grace and a contagious giggle.
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