Seeing is believing...

Dear Driver in Car Next to Me at Stoplight,

What you saw me doing was ripping off a piece of a band-aid box. I was in the process of folding it so that it would fit in my clergy shirt tab. You see, my son moved the one that is always in the car. We were too far from home for me to turn around when he mentioned, "Mom, I played with that collar thing you put in your shirt. I don't know where I laid it."

So, what you and the other drivers saw as you followed, giving me amble space, was me, frantically searching through bags and the remaining junk in the front seat. The piece that went flying to the back of the car was sun visor that had been removed from a window when I was loading the car. I was on my way to preach at a Professional Leaders' Conference and I placed all my nervous energy into finding that collar tab.

That's what I was doing when you looked over and I had my mirror down and was fiddling with my shirt. I didn't mean to give you such a funny look...at least you got a smile. In my mood, it could have gone either way.

Peace of the Lord be with you always.

Here's my sermon. I want to give thanks to Rev. Susan Briehl for a sermon she preached for Day One in 2000. Two sentences in this are really close to being hers.

Easter 2 John 20: 19-31

Doubt padlocked one door,

and Memory put her back to the other one.

Still, the damp draught seeped in though,

fear chinked all the cracks,

and blindness boarded up the window. In the darkness that was left, defeat crouched in his cold corner.

Then Jesus came (all the doors being shut) and stood among them. (Luci Shaw)

When a friend of mine heard that I was preaching here today, she paused and then, said, “that’s kinda odd, isn’t it? I mean to preach to a bunch of pastors and church leaders.” I laughed and said, “Well, we are people, too.”

You and I don’t know each other overly well, but I’m going to make a huge assumption that you, know something about locked rooms. I’m going to guess that not only do you spend time with people who are locked up in fear, you, yourself…being a person and all…know something about hiding and fear.

So, let’s go with the disciples today….It was in a room hid away, a bit off the main street. From their spot the smell of baking bread and rotting fruit in the streets reached them, but no light came in to the room. Throughout the day their ears caught enough phrases and conversations from the outside to know what was going on beyond the door—but they weren’t sure what it meant for them. Their bodies constricted tighter as the sounds of soldiers passed by or familiar voices of the religious leaders came too close. And now as night closes in, they are alone, together--their minds going over and over the events of the previous days. The last moments before the world changed, betrayal, horrific scenes run over and over in their mind and the most haunting thought is that they are not the type of person they had hoped to be

Perhaps for some of them, Mary’s proclamation combined with Jesus’ teachings were beginning to make sense…all the odd things he’d said, the promises he’d made…light was beginning to shine.

But they remained still. It was not bright enough yet to see the path out of their fear.

We, like the first disciples, often lock ourselves in, and the world out, when we are threatened or wounded or grieving. It isn't hard for us to imagine ourselves in a room.

If we are honest, often our first reaction to this world is to run and hide. We hear the Acts text today and know…want…our ministry and our Christian life to have that power and purpose and awe inspiring message…but we don’t always embrace the Holy Spirit with her way of sweeping us all up and sending us out in directions we’d never thought of. Her way of turning everything around. It is easier to keep things as they are. So often we close the door and flip the deadbolt.

We can’t be too critical of the disciples…we’ve been there, too.

When you see that person—that parishioner coming down the hallway…you know the one: with an agenda, a gripe, a criticism, a whine, hateful words…a part of us wants to hide in fear.

When you hear a life story so painful, so raw, so all consuming, so lifeless…a part of us wants to hide in fear.

When you are faced with disbelief, hostility or mocking of our faith…a part of us wants to hide in fear.

And I imagine, you being people and all…you have a life larger than just your parishioners…

friends, spouses, children, neighbors, parents…all of them put us in situations where part of us wants to hide in fear.

Fear that we won’t be enough. Fear that we don’t have the words. Fear that we will fail. Fear that our life won’t actually change lives. Fear that the pain will be too great or the conflict too much. Fear that we don’t have enough energy to keep on.

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” ²⁰After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. ²¹Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”

Who told you to be afraid? Who told you that you weren’t enough? Who told you there was a sin too great? Who told you that you were on your own?

We can lock ourselves up and we can curl up and try to hide…but you know Jesus will break in. We can padlock it up anyway we want. Use any kind of chinking or glue…Jesus will come to us.

He could have come with judgment or shamed them. He could have given them a lecture or sulked in the corner.

But he comes with open arms and offers peace. Jesus summons his children to release their brothers and sisters...forgive sins, proclaim life’s conquer over death, and gives them his breath….equipping them to live the life they were created for.

For some of us, God will break in with a relationship and like Mary, we will see Jesus when he says our name. For others of us, it will be because of service done in his name…we will see his hands at work. Perhaps he will find us in bread or wine. For still others, it will take a whole community that has been changed and freed from their fear filled life, and for others like our friend Thomas, it will take all of it…

We can lock ourselves up however we want…we can use pride or arrogance, or intellect or martyrdom, we can rebel and mouth off all we want…Jesus will come, bringing peace. And with declaration, his peace becomes more and more our breath. He becomes our second wind.

He comes into our lives bearing the scars and wounds of the world so that we don’t have to. While the body of Christ, although risen, is always wounded as well--He is our promise that because he lives, we too shall live.

He comes into our lives to draw us closer, in spite of our doubt and disbelief. He holds us, and longs for us to come closer still…to more fully know his peace. In him we are reminded God has not left us to free ourselves…we are not alone in darkeness.

Jesus comes as Jesus always comes, with a word of forgiveness…The disciples could not stay in that room safe and familiar though it was. They would suffocate there if they stayed and Jesus knew that, and opened the doors. Jesus sent them out into the very world they feared, into the fresh air of the future they could not see, saying: "As the Father has sent me, so I send you."

In a world so gifted at locking itself up in fear, you and I are called to point out the light, shining under that door and through that crack in the window—light has broken in to darkness. What can we say? What can we do with such a gift but exclaim—My Lord and my God, I believe.