Grateful.

I hadn't fully realized how much time had lapsed between blog posts over the past nine months.  I wasn't aware you could measure the cliche of "time flies" by scanning this blog.  It feels as if I just wrote that story down, or that it was "just yesterday" we did that project.  But, 'nope.' Time has moved quickly and I choose not to document it.  Many a day I was itching to write but never got to it.  Other times I held back, unsure of what would come of my words.  Most of the time I was simply just trying to keep us all alive.  Priorities.  Such a bummer.

We have a kindergartener and a second grader and a two year old.  EG and LP still slay my heart when I think of how the days have flown by.  My best guess is that when they are so young, there are so few days from their time with me, which I remember-with the hazy baby and toddler days being a blur of chaos and hormonal delusion.

But those stages have all passed.  Hormonal delusion will only come now in the normal waves it has always arrived on.

I am finishing up my best summer in seven years.  Equal parts acceptance, hard work and low expectations are given credit for making it a success.

But in two short weeks we are back to a schedule and a quicker pace.  I think we are all ready.  This new school year affords me four hours a week with no children.  I have plans made for dentist appointments, a massage, a haircut, another doctor appointment and then trips into my office and space to cross some long dreamed of projects off my list at home.

Like all measures of time in adulthood, it will go quickly.  I am psyching myself up to make the most of it.  To slow for a moment and decide if "yes" is what I really want to say.  To extend myself some grace when my heart of heart says "no" or "I can't" or, even, "I don't want to."

Fall has always been my favorite of the seasons, but in the last decade I have collapsed into fall's arms in exhausted relief that summer is over and I don't have to pretend I had fun.  This year, I find myself greeting its arrival with gratitude and appreciation for all the growth this season of summer has brought.

photo credit to my husband.