The package to the distant sibling has been sent.
Gifts for children of all ages have arrived.
BB and my DH are out shopping for me as I type.
We have snow and the kids have been out sledding.
I have pants that will fit me.
FB accounts has been signed off of for the remainder of the year.
Snacks are purchased for trip north.
Christmas with inlaws has been scheduled for tomorrow.
Christmas cards are all that are left...best get to it.
This has been a difficult season for me. I have been internally fighting the secular 'to do list' and the manic drive to spend and decorate and celebrate in all the ways the culture desires of us. Mentally, I have written many a blog post on all the ways we try to cram celebration into these four weeks. Why don't we spread out gifts, cards, parties, coffees, brunches...Why, oh WHY do we do this to ourselves?
In the end I did what I wanted to...told my internal drive 'to do more' to "shut up" ( and I don't say that phrase very often, to anyone.) and went along doing the best I could.
I have written many a judgmental post as well. Wondering why adults are so obnoxious at preschool programs and why we can't hang up our damn cell phones. I have even judged people's holiday decorations and Christmas cards. I have judged myself for how my son is approaching the season...gimme, gimme, gimme.
But none of them will really benefit anyone, so I hit the delete key in my mind and moved on. Your Christmas will be all the brighter for not having to read my rants.
Clearing out some of the chaotic mental frustration and holiday angst, helped Bethlehem come in to view.
It isn't a mirage after all! There, off in the distance is the place Jesus was born, is born, will be born. I caught sight of it in my rear-view mirror and in the grocery lines and in the eyes of those who dance around my house. In the end, in spite of all my judgment, and concern, and fear that society is completely lost, devote of any true compass, I catch a glimpse of the place where God came to us. God's humility, vulnerability and acceptance, strengthens my faith once again. And I remember, that it is for people such as this...such as myself: judgmental, proud, and self centered...that God put on human flesh and lived among us.
For myself and for you, I wish these final days of Advent to be full of the holy. Holy waiting in line, holy cooking, holy cleaning (and painting) and preparing. Holy days. I also wish you the most blessed Christmas season...all 12 days of it. Enjoy. Savor. Wonder. Take your time in Bethlehem. New babies are something to behold and this one is not to be missed.
Peace to you and yours!
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