Lent Five Years Ago:
I took up daily trips to the gym and gave up lunch on Wednesdays. (I don't know why, I just did.)
I spent weeks before Ash Wednesday planning mid-week Lenten services.
Created altar cloth and other 'arty' projects with youth from our congregation.
Worshiped each Wednesday, spent the week studying Biblical texts and reading devotional material.
Holy Week was just that--Holy. Each day was rich in meaning and I took time to pray and reflect.
Spent Holy Saturday night in nervous anticipation for Easter and the celebration awaiting us.
Easter was alive and wonderful--new life seemed possible.
Beyond all my church activities, my house also reflected Lent and the Easter season. I took down many decorations and set out simple meditative displays for Lent. For Easter, I set up some bunny paraphernalia, but also signs of 'new life' and bright baptismal themes were scattered around.
Lent and Easter Now:
First of all, tomorrow is EASTER? Huh??
Lenten services attended: ZERO
Lenten devotionals read: One...but I only read the authors I knew and loved. I read 5 chapters in one sitting and then let it lie next to my bed for the next five weeks.
I gave up nothing and made no move to "take up" anything either.
Maundy Thursday passed me right by, I remembered it actually happened by a reference to it during the Good Friday service.
On Good Friday I did take the kids to an event at church. I spent the time in holy reflection of how loud my two week old is when she eats and self flagellation over how incapable I was of watching my 2 year old. I did give sincere thanks for the body of Christ that took care of Henry during the event.
I also spent Good Friday at the mall, with a disturbing number of other people I might add...
I could justify my presence by attempting to explain why I like Carter's onesies (sold at department stores) better than the ones at they have at Target, but I won't go there. I SPENT GOOD FRIDAY AT A MALL people..."Father forgive them for they know not what they do" comes to mind.
Holy Saturday was spent making up a grocery list for Chad, wondering just when time nap-time could humanely start and reflecting on how the "honeymoon" phase of life with two kids might be nearing an end.
Tomorrow we will attend church, eat a ham and hopefully say a prayer of thanks for God's gift of new life. The house isn't decorated. I have nothing to wear to church. I've done nothing to explain the significance of the day to my son. My heart is no where near prepared for the mystery and gift of Easter, but never has there been a year where I give greater thanks for a God who knew my heart would never be ready for such a gift and gave Himself for that very reason. Perhaps the main point of the season hasn't completely escaped me.
He is Risen!
He is Risen, Indeed!! Amen.
2 comments:
You are way to hard on yourself. Just getting out of the house with a two week old and 2 year old is a major feat in of itself! And taking care of each other is, in my opinion, all about going to "church"! And don't forget that you alone are not responsible for passing the faith to your children. You as a person and mother in your daily life pass it on to them! Life with children is complicated...that's why I remind myself everyday about grace. I have to believe that the good Lord is giving me more of it now when I neglect my personal spiritual growth because of the hectic life with children.
Thanks--whoever you are. (nah, I know who you are.) Some of it was, of course, tongue in cheek. I was thinking back on how life changes...all aspects of it. I completely took the time I had for spiritual development and worship for granted. I am also thankful for all the opportunities I had for rich and meaningful worship...they are getting me through some days now. :)
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