The Christmas Tree

Eleven years of marriage has meant countless hours of compromise.  Hundreds of conversations about our families of origin.  We have many differences that have weighed down negotiations.  But the Christmas tree came as a shock to both of us this year.

We have spent nearly every Christmas at my parent's home.  Our previous house wasn't the best space for a tree.  This means "how do you decorate a Christmas tree" has never been a topic of conversation.  Until this year.  In our NEW home.  With 39 years of my expectation hanging on each and every branch.

Every Christmas for around 30 years, I received a silver bell engraved with the year on it from my Grandparents.  And every year I heard how beautiful my Christmas tree would look one day when I was an adult.  White lights and silver bells will be enough of a tree.  It will be stunning.

The neatly wrapped bell box was always under the tree.  It never held a candle to the Barbie boxes or the Benetton sweaters...or the year we got the Coke Cola rugby jerseys, but it was there, future tradition growing with each passing year.  A constant.  Similar to the love it was given with.

I grew up in a multi-tree family.  (Christmas trees are a sub genre to the Christmas crazy, aren't they.)  We had three trees.  The main tree which held white crocheted snow flakes which my other Grandma made for my mom.  A themed tree of birds and nature type ornaments.  Both of these trees held white (tiny) lights. Then there was the kid's tree in the basement family room.  It held colored lights, paper chains, and every ornament we made plus the miscellaneous ones that didn't match the upstairs tree.

My husband grew up with a tree that held large colored lights and a variety of ornaments.

You see the dilemma.  It should not be inferred that because I took up a paragraph talking about my trees to my husband's sentence, that his opinion on Christmas trees would be equally as sparse.

Seeing as we moved nine days before Christmas, many people wouldn't have even bothered with a tree, but we were hosting Christmas at our house and wanted it to look festive.  (yes.  hosting. at our house.)  I am grateful my husband tore himself away from the boxes and ran around town one night to find the tree.  He also got lights from Target's remaining light selection.

Big white lights.  And in the end, not enough of them.  You see how quickly my gratefulness turns to (judgmental) commentary.  (just a suspicion, but I'm not sure this helped my case.)


The whole brouhaha started when I made a move to ban any of the kid's homemade ornaments from the tree.  He balked and fast.  The kid's each have a small table top tree in their room.  I was wondering out loud if I wanted the glass balls up on their trees this year (would they break, etc.), when my husband stopped me and used words like " it's a family tree, isn't it" and  "your own personal tree."

Ah, yes...Jesus was born for such a conversation.

Thankfully our eleven years of negotiating much larger issues came in handy and the Great Tree Debate was settled.  (for THIS year.)  I am sure next year I can better communicate the years of childhood dreams and expectations that ring with each bell.  (on a tree with small white lights and maybe.  MAYBE a few other ornaments.)