The Most Important?

Come with me as I wonder around here a bit...

Every time I hear the phrase, "Being a mother is the most important job you'll ever do..." some warning siren goes off in me. It isn't the one that is meant to send me screaming from the room in sheer disagreement nor is it the one that encourages me to speak up and fight. It is more of a gentle, "Pay attention...something isn't quite true for you. You may need to clarify some points." Does the siren alarm for you?

I understand the comment in terms of taking motherhood seriously. It isn't a passing hobby or a fashion accessory. I understand encouraging each other in this role of mother. I even, kind of, understand the movement to "professionalize" motherhood.

Is it really more important than serving the poor? More important than sitting with a grieving family? More important than proclaiming the gospel? More important than caring for our friends? More important than my relationship with my husband? More important than using the gifts God has given me?

But in a recent conversation, what I was getting at, is my frustration to have my voice heard and to use my gifts to stand up in the world.

I take parenting seriously because I want to raise up productive, polite, kind, compassionate, aware kids. We, their parents, are their first resource to help discover their gifts and blessings for this world. This is a part of my calling here on earth.

But the life they create will be their life. My entire voice cannot be given over to just raising them up...because then where have I gone? What good are my own particular gifts and blessings? We grant fathers a space for both in the world, why not women? I don't know that I have ever heard someone tell a dad, "raising your kids is the most important work you'll ever do."

Perhaps, this is just part of a larger frustration with mother's groups. We gather because we are mothers, but it often seems that is the only arena of our lives we wish to make a connection in. I assume we have more to ourselves than just our kids and I would love to hear just a little more about it. I think giving voice to our whole selves would only serve to strengthen our self as, 'mother.'

This morning, as I sip my tea, part of my righteous anger is the silencing effect, the statement, "Motherhood is the most important thing you'll do," has on us. What sirens are going off in you today?


10/23/08 Update: The Paris Project today has a entry that adds to this and the message I was addressing. Dobson on Palin and mothering.